Yep we were there and this was our report…. That year we brought along a collection of nice motors, Cooper (Now known as Super Cooper vehicle mechanic, Tuner, Race engine builder etc) brought along his infamous Mad Mini powered by a 2.1 litre highly rebuilt and tuned Ford lump running rear wheel drive and methanol or ethanol or something generally not associated with minis! , our mate Steve’s Lamborghini Diablo roadster, an awesome Escort combi van and my own Saxo Furio (VTS lookilikey) as well as SJ’s Vauxhall Nova.  We had to thank Santa Pod from the time as they sorted us out with Press passes so we had access all areas photography which was perfect!

Have a look and perhaps your old pride and joy featured on our page 🙂 or even yourself… from long long ago… (in the pert topless models section before the fun police reduced that kind of naughtiness.) 

 

The weekend was extremely long in arriving, because we couldn’t wait to thrash our motors down Santa Pods fine tarmac (even if after the jet-car had made a good attempt at melting it off!).  We had gathered together a quality selection of cars to take up to the event, which included Cooper’s mad mini, Steve’s Lambo Diablo, Dink’s Saxo and Sj’s Nova.

We were welcomed onto the AX owners club area, which was somewhat reduced in size by its neighbours, but we soon formed a presence when Cooper’s van plus mini, and the Diablo arrived in the area!.

Within minutes we were swamped by visitors wandering what on earth could be so ear splittingly loud as Cooper’s mini (but fortunately we haven’t been sued for hearing damage so far!) as it erupted into life with a growl like the devil himself had just broken wind to full effect!.

Cooper had made a special exhaust system for the event, or should I say lack of it! It was a trumpet the size of a mortar launcher, which directly joined to the downpipes!

Also on the AX stand, other than some gorgeous modified AX’s (visit http://www.theax.co.uk for more on them) was the sexy Escrt Combi van owned by Keith, seen previously at the Northampton cruise last year. Now repainted and looking even better! (hopefully we’ll get a full report on it soon.).

Cooper fended off the many times of “whats in it mate?” and then the following comment of “are you mad?” and headed off with Steve to attempt to sign on to run the cars down the track. Unfortunately the booking office had shut! and so they had to wait until later in the day for another chance!. But at least they had a chance unlike last year when all the tickets seemed to have been prebooked before anyone had turned up at the event!

So we all headed over to the track to grab some food and look around at the cars and trade stands. Dinks and Cooper turned a strange green colour as they entered the Fast Car magazine stand to see blokes getting to stand next to two gorgeous plump breasted women… see below….

Also at the pert breasts stand (Model named Alana and another who we unfortunately didn’t get chance to name), sorry I mean Fast Car stand was a couple of recently covered sexy bits of metal. A nicely modded Fiesta Mk3, and a impressive black Scooby.

After Dinks and Cooper had finished dribbling generally all over the floor and dried their undies, we carried on enjoying the trade stands. As we wandered around we came across these two mental guys that had a Cossie powered Alfa 75!… with an exhaust outlet that even got Cooper excited!

As we wandered around the trade stands we saw an almost unrecognisable Honda CRX, with an audio system that had been fed some serious quantities of steriods before the event!. It was definitely worth drooling over and Dinks certainly did. He reckoned that his one must be owned by one evil (deaf) old lady!. But there was no sign of her about or her trolley bag!.

The rear end was particularly gorgeous, with lights that look extremely smooth with the clear lenses. Very nice! Although we weren’t sure about the rally style foot plate in the passenger side footwell. And I’d have bunged a replacement steerling wheel in as well, as the standard item is a bit poo. But maybe Granny Miggins likes that bit?.

Sj spotted a scary PT Cruiser, not sure what the spiders were all about, but they were there hanging off this cool car!. And what is Mstation anyway?. Answers on a postcard to the “what the feck is Mstation anyway, but I’m sad enough to know so I’m writing to tell you” quiz, and you could win a slap in the chops!.

At this point we suddenely grew bored and realised it was time to sign on for the track. Dinks, Cooper and Steve all signed on, we paid our £12 squidlys and headed for the track. (Steve had lost his driving license, but somehow wangled his pass! – maybe something to do with the Lambo he was driving perhaps?).

Coopers Mini (minbox) and Dinks saxo went down the track together, but Coopers mini was a bit like space, “in space no one can hear you scream” because Coopers minbox was producing ten million decibels of exhaust note through its trumpet of a side exiting drain pipe. (No baffles what so over). Even Dinks struggled to hear his own revs to know when to change up!… good job he’d launched the standard air filter in favour of a modified xr2i 8v / xr2i 16v K&N 57i filter or he’d have stood no chance at all !.

You may be asking “why stick your almost boggo standard Saxo up Santa Pods fine drag strip?” and Dinks would tell you where to shove anything large and uncomfortable… but also that its a way to find out how a car goes while its still a bit boring and under warranty, before its able to be fully modded to see what the little car can do!. Dinks best time on his five runs was 18.17secs down the quarter mile, with a cool reaction time of 0.58secs… nice

Cooper on the other hand was pulling some good times, and the car didn’t even blow something this year. Normally it is faced with a race track of some kind and some part has said “sod off am I going to be thrashed down there!” and resigned its post as an operable part. One year it was a gear lever, another was a gearbox, then it was oxy/methanol feeds melt down… you see the theme appearing here!… but this year he got a chance to really see what the Min box could do!. His only disappointment was that he had no chance to set the car up for the event, and the diff’s gearing was too high and reduced the times. But he still managed a cool 15.04sec 1/4 mile ! And of course best still was that the car still went at the end of the five runs, at last cooper seems to have found the right combination of bits! (see Blue Thunders page to see what the spec is – well was when we wrote it a bit back which knowing Cooper is always out of date as soon as its written as he fettles some more!)

Steve had managed to wangle his pass, even though as mentioned above, he’d forgotten his driving license… and of course the car caused a stir as it arrived on the track. He was pitted against some hot cars like GTT’s and Cossies, and Mini’s (?)… which all caned his arse!… don’t believe me? well Steve didn’t want to really thrash his beast it seemed, as he paused just a little too long after the amber light appeared on the track, and didn’t quite lay all the power down as he headed off down the track. This was his first ever run down a drag strip, so I suppose we can give him some leeway. But how can we forgive stalling a Lamborghini??? this is 495BHP, four wheel drive, and he stalled it!!! But the crowd loved it as a huge cheer went up as he maximized his embarrassment factor!.

As for being canned by a mini, well okay we better explain that it was highly modded. Its engine lived at the boot end of the car, and was of Ford origin, a 1.9 turbo CVH running Nitrous… But steve managed a best time of 13.75seconds on the standing 1/4 mile, which is still muchly good by anyones standard, especially when you consider this is a car with no mods to its engine, and all the cars that whipped his bum were tuned for the track and not normal road use!. But he should have let Dinks have a go, he bets he could have got that time down!!!

Some of the other action on the track included hot drag racers, scoobies, mad people in Anglias, and anything else you can mention!. With no regard for self preservation these guys and girls came and thrashed the dangly bits off their motors!

And the standard was good this year! Plenty of good reaction times and serious times down the track!. Dinks seemed to be the guy with the slowest car!!! – Oh but did I mention the Jet car!!! Firestorm pleased the crowd by producing some silly times down the track…

Unfortunately come sunday the rain decided to wee down like the watering system on a ten acre hydroponic hash plantation. This sort of killed the event as most people began to sort their lives out and go home, heading for a nice dry bed instead of the leaky tents!. The leaky tents were made worse for our friends at the AX club site, as some twat decided to burn a car nearby. This was put out, but early in the morning it was relit. The wind had changed and blew the flames over he AX club tents, with sleeping people inside, and torched a couple of the tents! Nice thoughtful people! lets just kill innocent people! not!… Fortunately everyone escaped safely and the car was removed. There’s always one that trys to f*ck up the event for everyone!

We decided to do another walk round, SJ took some more pictures, and we grabbed some of the good food that was on offer!. Cooper had hoped to get his Mini in for the show and shine… oh well maybe next year!.. and as for Miss USC??? that too… next year!

But despite the shite weather the event went off extremely well. We certainly had a good time, and seemed like everyone else did, oh except the nob ends that got caught stealing stuff and got more than they deserved by some people who decided to take it upon themselves to police the event!. Not nice! One of these thieving guys ended up in and ambulance, and it nearly halted the afternoon of Saturday! good idea lads… next time let the security persons deal with it!

 

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